“How does Jesus wash my sins away, dad?”

The significance of a scapegoat

Have you ever heard of the word “scapegoat?” When a person has become the scapegoat in a situation, they have either willingly or unwillingly positioned themselves to take the blame for others and to suffer the consequences in their place. I am certain that most of you have heard of this term. But have you ever heard of the theological equivalent? The word is “expiation” and it signifies “an act by which satisfaction is made for a crime and the liability to punishment for it is cancelled.”

Donuts Are Always Wonderful Discipleship Tools

We’ll get back to those words in a moment but for now let me tell you about a recent exchange I had with my son to provide a little context. Just the other day, we were at Dunkin Donuts after school. We do this relatively often because, well, donuts. Now, my third born son is a hoss when it comes to eating. He eats fast, loud, and crazy. So when he was finished with his donut he had left behind quite a mess. I’m actually surprised that any of the actual donut made it into his mouth.

While we were eating donuts, we started talking about HOW Jesus removed our sin. I told my son that Jesus washed our sins away. Asher seemed perplexed. And then he asked me this: “How does Jesus actually wash my sins away, dad”

What a great question! After a moment of thought, I responded with this: “Well Asher, look at the table that is in front of you. Is the table clean, Asher?” He responded with “No!” (obviously). I then told him to take a napkin and wipe all of the donut crumbs into his hand. After he did that I said, “Asher, is the table clean now?” He said “Yes!” Then I asked him why. And he responded very confidently and excitedly, “Because I wiped the crumbs off, dad!” I then said “That’s right Asher! You washed the crumbs away. And that is what Jesus did with our sin. He washed all of our crumbs (our sin) away. Now our tables (our lives) are clean!” He smiled and we went home.

Further Explanation of Scapegoat/Expiation

In 30 seconds I had taught my child the doctrine of expiation, which originates in Leviticus 16, where Aaron (the high priest) took two goats which were meant to be a sacrifice as a sin offering. But only one of the goats would be killed (as an atonement for sin). The other goat would be sent away into the wilderness, likewise as an atonement, but as an additional symbol that Israel’s sin was not only sacrificed for but also carried away (hence, the scapegoat).

Ultimately, this points us to the supreme scapegoat: Jesus, the Lamb of God who came to take away the sins of the world once and for all (John 1:29). Not only did he cover our sin through His death on the cross, but He carried it away at the same time.

Now you can speak to your kids about expiation. And you probably won’t have to try hard to create a scenario for you to do so since I’m sure your kids have got that covered! :)

Something to Consider

Now that you hopefully have a greater understanding of the doctrine of expiation, can you think of a few additional ways that you could teach this to your children? I would love to learn from you.

Youth Sports: Delightful Or Damaging

Christianity And Keeping Up With The Jones’s

There is a certain keeping up with the Jones’s mentality that pervades the American family culture, and specifically the American CHRISTIAN family culture. Like a bunch of lemmings, our families tend to look and act more like the cookie cutter worldly modern family than we do “strangers and exiles,” (Hebrews 11:13) who are passing through this earth towards an eternal weight of glory.

Please hear me for a moment: I believe God has placed so many good gifts around us to delight in but we distort these good gifts by turning them into gods or griefs which leads to devastating results (ironically, anything else other than God that we make a god will undoubtedly become a grief/curse to us).

Nowhere else in the world offers the family unit more wonderfully tantalizing time-fillers than America does. From theme parks, to outlet malls, to outdoor destinations, to museums, to a variety of school options, to YMCA’s, and, to, wait for it… youth sports, American families have every opportunity to fill every waking second of their lives doing something fun and exciting!

Having A Healthy Acts 17 Perspective

All of the items listed above at first glance are incredible gifts that most American families have access to 12 months out of the year. There is nothing inherently wrong with these items and we SHOULD have an Acts 17 perspective about them (“And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place…” (Acts 17:26). God has orchestrated and has provided the gracious means to determine when we live, where we live and how we live. If this is true, then how we spend our time, energy, and resources matters to him. There is no need to be ashamed of the gifts He gives us to enjoy. But are these gifts crossing the boundary of becoming gods to us. We must ask the question “Have I taken a gift and made it a god?”

America And Our High Octane Culture Of Youth Sports

This, my friends, is what American Christian parents and families have done with youth sports, especially as the youth sports culture is pushing further and further away from traditional Christian values and discipleship.

Here are a few thoughts/numbers/stats that reveal the magnitude of the youth sports culture:

• An estimated 35 million kids are involved with youth sports (ca. 2013)

• 66% of boys play organized sports (52% of girls).

• Americans families on average spend around $700 per year, per child (2013)

• Depending on their affluency, parents start putting their kids in sports as early as age 2.

• Many sports offer year round opportunities for kids as young as 5.

• No longer are Saturdays deemed youth sports day, but now Sundays as well.

How To Call An Audible On Youth Sports

Do you notice any red flags above? If you do, may I offer up a few thoughts to consider when it comes to the youth sports culture as parents?

1. Youth sports are a gift (“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17).

• As mentioned above, we tend to make youth sports an idol, where we seek satisfaction - whether through vicariously living out our dreams through our kids or idolizing our kids and their abilities themselves.

2. We should look to redeem youth sports, rather than reject or receive. Youth sports provides yet another opportunity in life to glorify God through an enjoyable gift and to make Him known to a dark world.

• Rejecting youth sports outright is to have a separatistic mindset, leading to a “we’re better” approach to life, while at the same time completely abandoning an opportunity to be selfless and others-focused.
• Merely receiving youth sports can be okay, but this tends to lead to a "me" or “we” mentality and we end up missing the “you.”

3. Youth sports should be something that our children aren’t “forced” to do. I realize that our kids need a little prodding but if gifts are meant to enjoy, and our kids aren’t enjoying this gift, then it will become a grief.

• Bring your kids in on the decision making process. Please try to minimize the manipulation.

4. If Youth Sports Are Pulling Your Family Away From Your Discipleship Rhythms, Quit Immediately. I realize this one is going to be controversial because it is invasive, personal, and somewhat dogmatic in tone, but please prayerfully consider what I am saying, because I say it with great humility and empathy.

• If your discipleship matters to you (and discipleship is supposed to happen within the local church), then NOTHING should get in the way of any of your church’s regular discipleship rhythms and routines.
• If you regularly miss out on Sunday morning gatherings and mid-week moments with your local church, you are setting your family up for disaster. Please do not sacrifice your family’s spiritual well being for the sake of “chasing a dream” (Somewhere around 3.5% of high school athletes will play in college. Less than 1% will make it to the pros).
• There are plenty of opportunities that don’t take up Sundays and aren’t year around. Do those.
• Your kids don’t need sports. Neither do you. But they (and you) need Jesus. Don’t forget this.

5. Youth sports can and should be used as an opportunity to connect the outside world to Jesus. Surprisingly, what would be and should be one of the easiest means by which we take Jesus to the outside world, ends up being yet another way that we end up making all about ourselves, our agendas, and our “rights.” And what happens in the process? We create more harm than good and end up at times leaving people with a bitter taste of Jesus and His people in their mouths.

• If you choose to participate in youth sports, hold it very open-handedly but be invested. Get involved. Be the first one to the practices and games. Coach (or help to coach) if you have the capacity. Be generous. Open up your home for hang-out times. Be an affirming and joyful cheerleader. Be gracious and say “thank you” a ton.

There you have it. Hopefully these thoughts have sparked a few thoughts in your own mind. How has this impacted you? I am interested in hearing how you have dealt with this hot button topic in your own home? I would love to learn from you and I value any feedback you may have. Please leave a comment. Thanks.

Teaching Kids About Love on Valentine’s Day

Receive, Reject, Or Redeem

If you are a follower of Jesus, especially as a parent, you are confronted with what to do every time a holiday comes around. You have three choices: You can decide either to receive, reject, or redeem the holiday.

Culture for the most part doesn’t leave us with much of a choice and if our kids go to a public school or if they frequent any grocery store or shopping mall during any holiday season, then undoubtedly they will be exposed to whatever holiday their world around them is celebrating. This is especially true for Valentine’s Day, which is a day supposedly dedicated to love, but if we’re being honest, has turned into another cultural expression of sexual idolatry in the form of lust, over-desires, and me-centeredness.

So what should you do? I think if you are a Christian and a parent, you should redeem it. Why? Because you can take almost any situation, even pagan holidays, and turn them into teaching moments and gospel moments for your children. Valentine’s Day provides a wonderful opportunity to do this because it is an opportunity to talk about God’s great love more than anything.

Here are a few ways for dads and moms to redeem Valentine’s Day by teaching your kids about God’s great love!

1. Fathers can teach their sons about God’s great love through the way they love their wives on Valentine’s Day. Roll out the red carpet. It does so much in the hearts of your little boys. And bring them into the process.

• Flowers, home-made notes, small gifts, hugs, kisses, and slow dances in the kitchen are some ideas.  

• Tons of expressions of love throughout the day to your wives in the presence of your sons.

• For those fathers that have sons and daughters, encourage your sons to write love notes to their sister(s).

2. Fathers can teach their daughters about God’s great love through the way they pursue their daughter’s hearts on Valentine’s Day. Make a big deal out of it and them.

• Hand-written notes asking to check a box “yes” or “no” as a response to the question “Will you be my Valentine?”

• A Valentine’s breakfast, lunch date, or dress-up date on a night leading up to Valentine’s Day (because you should be treating your wife that night, right?;).

• A teddy bear and a tiny box of chocolates or a love note with a hand-picked flower goes a long way.

3. Mothers can teach their sons about God’s great love by making a big deal out of their love for them and by celebrating that. Masculinity is not devoid of tenderness and moms can teach their sons that it’s okay to draw pink hearts and say “I love you” to their moms.

• Heart-shaped pancakes with strawberries and pink smoothies for breakfast are a hit!

• Little projects that involve red, pink, hearts, and lots of love.

• Special Valentine’s Day snacks after school with a fun little gift (not candy).

4. Mothers can teach their daughters about God’s great love for them by modeling what it looks like to both love and be loved; that it isn’t about merely receiving love (flowers, cards, chocolates), but more so it’s about giving love.

• Ask your daughter if she has a friend that she could love on this Valentine’s Day.

• Use creativity to come up with ideas on how to love others on this special day.

5. Fathers and Mothers can teach their children about God’s great love for them by pointing them to Jesus’ love for them to truly show them how much they are loved and by helping to express this greater love to the world around them.

• In our home, each year we cut out hearts and write 5 things on the hearts that we love about our kids.

• Remind your kids that while they were yet sinners, Christ died for them (Romans 5:8).

• One year, we went to the closest hospital and handed out single roses with notes that said “You are loved! Romans 5:8” to those suffering and hurting on Valentine’s Day.

The Best News On Valentine's Day

Above everything else, help your kids to see they aren’t entitled to God’s great love on any day but that He still gave it to them through Christ on this day and every day. This is the best news they could ever receive on Valentine’s Day!

How To Read The Bible WIth Your Kids (5 Starter Tips)

The Bible is Kinda Scary Because It's Massive

One of the main concerns from parents that we observe surrounds the idea of Bible reading. This is a question you yourself may have recently asked:

"How do I read the Bible with my kid?"

The reason I know this is a concern more than anything else is because most parents themselves don’t know how to read the Bible. It’s okay to admit. The Bible is a big book after all. It contains more than 780,000 words and get this… more than 3 million characters (letters and punctuation). It would take over 217 hours at 60 words a minute to retype the entire Bible.

Safe to say the Bible isn’t light reading. We can also agree that if you don’t know how to read the Bible, it will be arduous to navigate through. If this is how you feel personally when you open the Bible, more than likely you will be fearful to open it up with your children.

With this in mind, allow me to provide a few helpful starter tips for you to apply to your own life when it comes to opening up the BIble to read. It is then (when you have a greater understanding of how to read it) that I believe you will gain more confidence and begin to do it more with your children. This list is by no mean comprehensive. That’s not the point of this post. I just want to get you started.

5 Starter Tips

1. Read more than one verse. The Bible isn’t meant to be read any other way (except maybe a few Psalms and Proverbs). The Bible is a story. Reading the Bible without context is like trying to figure out what Lord of The Rings is all about by merely reading page 78. Instead of reading one verse, read one chapter. Unless it’s Psalm 119, you should be able to get through it relatively quickly :)

2. What does the passage you are reading say about God? Since the Bible is about God, then you will be hard-pressed to find too many pages that don’t include anything about Him. Is God’s name mentioned. Are there any key statements that point to God’s character (His love, goodness, justice, faithfulness)? Is there any activity by God happening in the passage?

3. What does the passage you are reading say about mankind? Since the Bible is for us, more than likely you will be able to find something that pertains to who we are. Does the passage speak into our nature and character at all (created, image bearers, sinful, stubborn, loving, encouraging etc.)? Is there any activity by mankind in the passage?

4. Look for key words that are repeated. The Bible is a work of literature. Because repetition is a wonderful literary device, expect it often in Scripture. We learn best when something is repeated to us. The Bible does this a lot. For example, in Ephesians 2:5-8, one word shows up four times - grace! The Apostle Paul is making a huge statement. That our salvation comes by way of God’s grace!

5. Look for transitional terms. Again, since the Bible is a literary work, the use of transitional terms like but, moreover, likewise, and therefore is a common occurrence. These terms so often will help you better connect different thoughts. For instance, asking yourself “What is the ‘therefore’ there for?” is a great way to bridge an impending passage with a previous passage.

[How about a bonus tip because we like you? Don't know where in the Bible to start reading? Try one of the gospels - either Mark or Luke. These will give you an up close and personal experience of Jesus, who is the point of the Bible. After that, try Genesis and Exodus, which present the beginnings of the broader story of Scripture - that Jesus saves sinners.]

A Call To Action

Hopefully these five (er, six) tips will at minimum launch you into (finally) opening up the Bible for yourself and then with your kids as well. You have to start somewhere so just take that first step and watch God go to work. I realize there is so much more to learn when it comes to developing a proper hermeneutic (the study of Bible interpretation). That will have to wait for another (more lengthy) series of posts in the future.

For now, have fun reading and please let us know if you have any questions or concerns. Oh and watch the video below...

“But I’m Scared, Dad!”

Fear Doesn’t Need To Be Learned

How sad is it as a parent to hear your child say they are scared? Fear is not something that I ever needed to teach my children. It came as naturally as loving ice cream. Whether it was the noise of a vacuum cleaner or the dark closet in their room at night, my children have always had fears. Not-so-unbelievably, their fears don’t seem to be going away anytime soon (I mean, I still have fears don’t I?), which means as a parent this is something that I must be attentive to constantly.

The other morning, I found myself once again interacting with my children’s fears. My youngest son (age 6) was faced with a dilemma. He was excited to invite one of his classmates to church but when he realized what it would take, his excitement soon changed to despair. Noticing this change in his disposition, I said, “What’s wrong, Asher?” He replied with “But I’m scared, dad!”

Now, in that moment, I could have very well shamed him and told him to get over his fears and suck it up. Instead, I took this as an opportunity to dive into the why. So I asked him, “Asher, why are you afraid?” He couldn’t really answer so we worked through it for a moment, not really getting anywhere.

(Since I know my child well I knew why he was really afraid: He was afraid because he started thinking about what his buddy would think of him. He was afraid because he didn’t want to be rejected. He was afraid because he is terrified of failure.)

Try To Dive Into Your Child’s Fears

Instead of shaming him, which is my tendency at times (full disclosure), I dove into his fear and tried to identify with him by saying, “I understand, Asher. It’s hard to do things that are a little scary.” I then asked him a question: “Asher, what is the scariest thing that has ever happened in this world?” He couldn’t answer. I proceeded to remind him of how scary the cross was for Jesus. As Jesus anticipated what was about to take place in the Garden of Gethsemane - being rejected by humanity, being rejected by the Father in that moment, and being tortured physically to the point of death - He actually sweat “great drops of blood.” (Luke 22:44).

Asher perked up because well, you know, blood! Now that I had his attention I said this: “Jesus faced something far scarier than we ever could imagine, Asher. And because Jesus did the most scary thing ever and actually didn’t fail, we can now do scary things without being afraid of failure. Doing scary things isn’t about not failing but rather about trusting Jesus. Why? Because He never fails.”

Did this conversation cause Asher to immediately get excited again about inviting his buddy to church? No, not really. But it did remind him about how awesome Jesus is. And isn’t that the point?

Some Tips

What would be helpful for you to think through the next time your child says they are afraid? Consider the following:

1. Please don’t dismiss your child’s fears. Rather dive into them. Empathize with them (you’ve been scared before).

2. Instead of offering an immediate solution or fix, listen to your child.

3. Take the time to talk about the why with your kids. Ask them why they think they are afraid in that moment.

Was this helpful? Did this spark anything else in your mind or heart? Please don't hesitate to comment below.

Dr. Strange And The Gospel

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39

There is a scene in the recent Marvel movie Dr. Strange in which the lead character (Dr. Strange) is told by another character (called “The Ancient One”) something to the effect of, in order to gain what he thinks he truly needs (namely, full use of his hands, after a car accident debilitated him, in order for him to continue to be the supreme surgeon that he was prior to the accident) he must actually surrender everything; that surrendering what he thinks he needs in order to satisfy himself will in turn give him true satisfaction.

This sort of thinking is completely counter intuitive and counter cultural at the same time. When everything inside us and all around us tells us that we should follow our hearts, chase our dreams, make our own luck, and get what we want when we want it, the idea of surrendering what we think we need in order to truly gain everything is as ridiculous as telling a child that candy is so bad for them (Kids don’t understand the ill effects of candy. To them, it’s the best thing ever). 

The Human Heart Is A Terrible Evaluator

But herein lies the problem. We cannot properly evaluate what we need the most (i.e. what is best for our lives). Why? Because we are sinful and our hearts are bent towards chasing after the temporal things of this world, thinking they can provide for us true satisfaction. Rather than chasing after the One who created everything and who is gracious to give us all of these inherently good things as gifts but that we turn into gods. Somehow we are convinced that we will be happy and satisfied with created things instead of THE Creator. The Bible has something to say about this:

“Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.” Romans 1:22-23

Finding The Hope Of The Gospel In Dr. Strange 

In the end, Dr. Strange realizes that his identity is larger than his ability to use his hands and be the best surgeon. He realizes that there is more to life than just that. He does end up surrendering those things, and in turn ends up saving the world. This ultimately pushes us to a greater world saving event - the gospel; and a greater world saving Redeemer - Jesus, who…

“though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:6-8