Why Our Family Quit Cable

I am a member of the bulk-food retail store Sam’s Club and one of the pushes they constantly make the moment I walk through their doors is to consider quitting cable and switching over to Satellite television. There is always an awkward salesperson, who in the past I have ferociously tried to avoid eye-contact with, waiting to ask “What cable company do you use?” just so they can subsequently ask me how much I pay and then move into their “riveting” sales strategy for why I should make the switch. 

For about a year now, I have been able to look these sales people straight in the eye and boldly and truthfully answer their question in a way that immediately shuts down the conversation: “I quit cable!” Since their entire sales goal is to get people to quit cable, my response always leaves them startled (although trends point to many others doing the same so maybe my response is not as big of a surprise to them as I think it is). My response does in fact have a 100% success rate of ending the conversation and for that reason alone I’m glad I quit cable.

Just Give Me A Reason (Or five)

All jokes aside, there are actually a few compelling reasons as to why our family quit cable last year and I’d like to share them with you, not for the purpose of telling you to do the same, but to give you a differing perspective that may at minimum cause you to evaluate your current reality, if your current reality involves a ton of television viewing. 

1. Television is the centerpiece of the American family living space. Walk into the living or family room in most homes and what do you see? A massive television adorning the wall with the entirety of the furniture perfectly positioned around it as though the only purpose for the furniture’s existence is to bring attention to the television.
2. Television is watched excessively in American homes. On average, American adults watch over 35 hours of television per week (nearly as much as a full-time work week). Children aren’t far behind, spending 32 hours a week in front of the television. If we include the number of hours spent on the internet, phone, tablets, gaming, and other multimedia, the total number of hours of screen time per American adult sky rockets to over 70 hours a week.
3. Television tends to deaden creativity and stifle imagination. Excessive screen time takes away opportunities for creativity and imagination to be sparked. Much of this is due to television stealing viewer creativity and sucking us into its imagination.
4. Cable specifically offers very few viewing options, with too many distractions. The tendency with cable is to flip through channels without having any desirable options, and once something appealing is stumbled upon, because of the amount of advertisements, one may find him/herself back in the vicious cycle again of flipping through the channels.
5. Cable is outrageously expensive (hence, why Sam’s Club is partnering with satellite companies). Last year the average cable bill cost American families $103 per month. There are less expensive options (netflix, hulu, amazon, sling, and apple tv just to name a few). One can even purchase a digital antenna for a few bucks to gain access to the major network channels. Believe me, there are other options.

Television And Family Liturgies

There is a bigger issue that needs to be addressed. The real reason my family quit cable wasn’t because we needed to save money (although that certainly played a small part in the decision making process). We quit cable because the liturgies (rhythms, or in other words the way we operated and functioned) in our family revolved around television watching. 

In my home alone (we thought we were “balanced” when it came to television watching) our kids watched at least a half hour or hour of cartoons in the morning 3-5 days a week. We would put on a show or movie during the day for our younger children when they wouldn’t nap and we needed to get work done. We found that it was on during some of our dinner times together. We were having more and more “movie nights” in the house (as if this was the only option for entertainment). As soon as the kids were in bed, the television came on and stayed on the entire night (sometimes upwards of four to five hours). We were getting to bed later and later. At one point, we even decided to put a television in our bedroom meaning we were essentially falling asleep to the tv. It was beyond out of hand. Our lives were revolving around the television.

We Made The Change.

And our liturgies look much different now. Here is what has changed:

1. We didn’t miss it after we quit it. The kids initially balked when we told them we were cancelling cable but we haven’t heard one complaint since the proverbial cord was actually cut.
2. The television is rarely on in the mornings (maybe once a week as a special treat) which means we are actually together in the mornings, undistracted by the noise of the television. We spend our time in the kitchen area most mornings, preparing for the day, making the kids lunches together, cooking breakfast together, doing the dishes together, praying together, working through a catechism together, talking about the day and dreaming together. Get the idea!? We are together!!!
3. We have set boundaries around our television watching. We have a netflix and amazon membership (which saves us a ton of money monthly, btw), giving us the option to watch tv, but not be consumed by it, or distracted by all of the commercials and the flipping through of channels. Most nights our television does come on, but only much later in the evening after the children are down, and we only watch one show or two at the most. (I sometimes stay up a little later to watch an NBA game - don’t judge;).
4. The furniture in our living area doesn’t look like it is worshiping the television. My wonderful wife made the decision to configure our living area in such a way that the tv is not the centerpiece. Instead of facing the television, our largest couch faces two other chairs. (I love my wife’s courage by the way because I was a tough sell on all of this).
5. My kids actually play outside like it’s the 1950’s again. Because the television is on less, there are so many more opportunities for creativity and imagination to be sparked. My kids read more, they draw more, and we have a lot more conversations about life, God, friends, and school than ever before.

In the end, you don’t have to do as I do. You’re free to watch as much television as you desire. In fact, if you watch a lot of it, you’re like most Americans. But please prayerfully consider these questions:

Is your television watching a gift or a god to your family? It it ultimate or is it a rare and unnecessary (non ultimate) addendum to your established rhythms and liturgies as a family?

Why My Family Is Choosing Life

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5

Have you ever thought about what God truly prioritizes above everything else? What is most precious to him? What does he value and esteem and hold in the highest regard?

Above all else, God prioritizes life - human life - and life abundant. If I can’t convince you, allow Jesus to possibly do so:

“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10!

1,000 References To Life Are Found In Scripture!

The evidence supporting the above stated is insurmountably clear in Scripture as close to 1,000 references to some variation of the word “life” exist in the Bible.

Specifically in Psalm 127, God brings our attention to the lives of children. And there seems to almost be a sense of urgency in these three verses that causes us to be stirred in our hearts. The Psalmist uses the term “Behold” which in Hebrew means to “wake up, listen, and pay attention.”

Why does the Psalmist use this term? Because something very important is about to be said.

Our attention is drawn to the importance and value of children’s lives. Not only does God value human lives in general, but more specifically he really values the lives of children.

Psalm 139 describes the meticulous creative process that God takes in forming human life, specifically babies:

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16

So How Does God Really Feel About Children?

If Psalm 139 wasn't enough, let’s get back to Psalm 127 to see how God really feels about children.

Four thoughts jump out initially:

1. God calls children a gift: “Children are a heritage.”

2. God takes ownership of children. They are his: “Children are...from the Lord.”

3. God sees them as extremely valuable: “the fruit of the womb a reward.”

4. God labels them as “arrows in the hand of a warrior.”

Children's lives are precious enough to be invested in by parents who have been called to rear them and subsequently send them out to the world to fulfill God’s design and purpose for their lives; namely to glorify and enjoy God and to help others see this reality.

God takes ownership of children but He also gives ownership to us.

What a tremendous act of common grace!

God also feels like the more children the better: “Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” Why? Children are a massive blessing! God views them in this way. So should we.

The Gospel Reveals God's Love For Children

Above everything else, God showed his great love for children by giving his one and only child over to death:

“He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32

Jesus died for our children so that they may become God’s children.

Children were never intended to be sacrificed (aborted for whatever reasons there may be). Jesus became the sacrifice so that so many children could become His children! This is the gospel - the good news.

What We Need To Own

But please hear me for a moment: Our passion for human life should not just extend to the lives of children, both born and unborn. When we limit our zeal merely to this segment of humanity, yet overlook the broken lives around us, we tread the line of hypocrisy.

We’ll make strong pleas for the unborn innocent lives, but at times we’ll turn a blind eye to the downtrodden, broken, and marginalized in our neighborhoods and cities. We’ll protest the unborn - picketing, boycotting, and fighting for the rights of the unborn (yes and amen!!!), but overlook our struggling neighbor, co-worker, or struggling refugee family on the side of the road.

We say we value life but let’s be honest with ourselves: How are we treating the lives of those closest to us?

Every. Single. Life. Matters. At least it does to God. And at minimum we need to self-evaluate.

For us to turn a blind eye or deaf ear to the value of human lives and specifically to children’s lives is to commit a gross sin that deeply saddens the heart of God.

We Choose Life

For all the reasons above and so many more, our family has decided to choose life. We choose life because most profoundly God chose our lives; He chose to save our lives. Therefore, we desire to save lives!

One way our family is diving into the world of saving lives is through an initiative that our church is involved with here in Tampa. There is an organization called New Life Solutions that is in the business of saving babies. They are a ministry that serves women (especially women in crisis situations - namely, unwanted pregnancies), attempting to provide them with help, hope, and healing. In fact, over the past 30 years, New Life Solutions has been a part of saving a staggering 8,000 babies lives!!!

Over the past couple years, our church has partnered with this wonderful organization (with an incredible back story) helping to save as many babies as we can. It is estimated that for $1,500 a baby’s life can be rescued. Our church has set a goal for all of our Bible study groups (there are ten of them) to raise money and each save at least one baby.

There is a fundraising event put on yearly by New Life Solutions the weekend of Mother’s Day called the Walk For Life. Participants seek pledges and then literally walk to save lives. Our family is participating again this year and we want invite you to be a part of the event if you are in or near Tampa. We also are raising money to try and save as many babies as we can. If you are interested in helping us out, click here.

Thanks for your prayers and for your support.

"But My Parenting Situation Is Different Than Yours"

One of the main arguments that I hear frequently from people who are in the throes of parenting but who are struggling to disciple their children is this: “But our situation is different than yours. Our situation is very unique and you just wouldn’t understand. There is no room in our lives to take the time that is necessary to disciple our children.”

Let me begin by saying this: I am so sorry. I am sorry that you are in a place where you feel defeated, overwhelmed, and incapacitated by life so much so, there is no room for what I would imagine is one of the most important things to you. I desire in this moment to meet you where you are and at minimum tell you that I am burdened for you and care about your situation and more importantly, God is near and He cares even more than you do.

A Little Self-Eval Never Hurt Anybody

At the same time, I also desire to challenge you a little; maybe help you see a more excellent way than your current way (even if your circumstances don’t change one bit).

It is always helpful to self-evaluate so let’s start by asking ourselves a few questions:

1. Why (really) am I not discipling my children? Is it because of a lack of time and capacity or is it because of a lack of willingness? If my schedule allowed for it, would I actually pursue it? Or am I just using my schedule as a crutch?
2. What do I think needs to change in my life (my schedule) in order for me to feel “freed up” to better disciple my children?
3. What are the top 3 perceived obstacles keeping me from better discipling my children?  
4. What do I need the most in order to change my current reality and better disciple my children?
5. Honestly, is it possible for me to be more intentional with my children in pointing them to Jesus?

What Really Is The Problem? My Selfishness Is The Problem. 

Now that we’ve (possibly) come to grips with where our hearts are at, we can move forward. 99% of the time, those of us who are saying we have a different and unique situation are correct, but EVERYONE’S situation is unique. We are just believing the lie that our unique situation is an impossible one.

We tend to use our work schedules as the biggest excuse (especially if both spouses have jobs). Other excuses include the kids school schedule (early mornings and evening homework) and their extracurricular activities. Oh, the extracurricular activities! If we aren’t careful these will take over our lives. In western culture, we busy our days with lots of activities (I tackled the youth sports issue in a previous post).

The question ultimately revolves around time. There is always going to be time for the things we want to make time. If we honestly assess our schedules, how much downtime do we really have? How much time do we spend scrolling through social media and watching netflix? We base our schedule off of “me-time,” because we feel like we’ve earned it. 

But if you are a spouse and/or a parent, you are called to lay aside your rights, schedule preferences, and time, for the sacrifice and good of those in your life. THAT is your situation. It’s not perfect, but it’s yours. You can view it as a gift or curse. But it is what it is. We all wish there was more time for everything. What we ultimately need is more Jesus, not a different situation or better circumstances.

Start Somewhere, Anywhere 

When it comes to discipling your children, start small. Spend five minutes each day talking to them about Jesus. Read a passage of Scripture or a Bible story and talk to your kids briefly about it. Tell them that the entire Bible is about Jesus and how he saves sinners and together discover this life altering truth on the pages of Scripture. Finally, pray over your children. Pray prayers that don't necessarily revolve around what they need to do but what God has already done for them. Give them the good news in your prayers. Pray that as God loves them, they will in turn love Him.

Seriously, a little investment will go further than you could ever imagine.

(I have written a couple resources that will not only get you off the starting blocks, but will also give you confidence so you can be better equipped to disciple your children.) 

Why I Am Choosing To Not Give My Kid A SmartPhone

“because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.” Romans 1:25

I’m about to say something very controversial, but I think it needs to be said so here goes: 

Smartphones are one of the primary vehicles by which the idols we are fashioning in our hearts are exposed, exacerbated, and accelerated.

They are sort of like the 21st century version of the “golden calf,”  where we believe they can somehow satisfy the deepest longings in our hearts. 

For example, we are lustful and the phone is the vehicle by which we satisfy that longing by watching porn on our phone, or by sexting, or through snapchat. Another example could be we desperately crave acceptance and approval of man and the phone is the vehicle to satisfy these desires through the “likes” and “favorites” we receive. One final example could be we have a need to be right all the time and the phone is the vehicle by which we can obtain instant access to a wealth of information to pump up our egos.

Parents, when we give our children smart phones, I believe we are potentially the 21st century versions of Aaron in Exodus 32 who when urged by the people of Israel to “make (them) gods who shall go before (them),” politely obliged and from one moment to the next made a golden calf and subsequently led an entire nation into false idol worship and nearly into destruction (if not for the merciful hand of God). We’ll get back to this.

 

Allow me to bring some sobering facts to your attention: 

• On average, children are 12 when they receive their very own smart device.
• One study found that 75% of 4-year-olds own a smartphone.
• Nearly 100% of kids start using smart phones before their first birthday.
• By age two, most children use smart devices daily.

In no way can we even begin to comprehend what negative effects the smartphone is having on our children’s brains. But, what we can comprehend is what negative effects the smartphone is having on our children’s hearts.

Hearts, Idols, And Worship 

“Man's nature, so to speak, is a perpetual factory of idols.” John Calvin

Our default as humans is idol-worship. And what is an idol? According to Romans 1:25 (see above), it is anything that we exchange or substitute for God; an “image of God we make for our own manipulation.” (Dallas Willard). As Tim Keller puts it: “It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give…An idol is whatever you look at and say, in your heart of hearts, ‘If I have that, then I’ll feel my life has meaning, then I ‘ll know I have value, then I’ll feel significant and secure.’” 

Now back to smartphones and their connection to the golden calf. We can all attest that nothing in our lives distracts or disrupts us more than our smartphones (if a self-evaluation doesn’t do it, then check THIS out for all you iphone users). 

As much as we want to believe technology and the information age has changed our lives for the better (and in some ways it has, but that is not the point of this post), in so many other ways, it has done nothing but give us yet another reason to see how quickly we replace God for other false versions/imposters/illusions of gods.

As Christian parents, we are tasked with one mission: to teach, show, and model for our kids what it looks like to know, love, and worship Jesus. To hand our kids a smart device out of convenience, or because they ask for it, or because ALL of their friends have it, or because we just want some peace and quiet, or because we want them to have access to more knowledge (but not wisdom), is to take the easy way out. 

In closing, here are a few helpful thoughts to consider:

1. Not giving your kid a smartphone doesn’t mean you are depriving them of their happiness (we want our kids to learn what it means to be joyful rather than happy - one of these is positional, the other circumstantial).
2. Not giving your kid a smartphone opens up the endless door of possibility (one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is boredom, because it forces them to engage the unknown and learn how to “play” creatively).
3. Not giving your kid a smartphone will give them less access and therefore less opportunity to encounter the dark corners of the web (i.e. pornography).
4. Not giving your kid a smartphone will hopefully force you to evaluate how much time you are spending on YOUR devices and to reconsider your usage and maybe just maybe, cause you to set some boundaries.
5. Not giving your kid a smartphone will provide another opportunity for you to continue to help them see that “our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Phil 3:20). Our children need to continue to be reminded that there is something far better than anything else that this world can offer.
6. Not giving your kid a smartphone will give them more opportunity to see that they are not the center of the universe. Smartphones tend to feed into this lie, causing us to believe that because we have instant access to everything all the time, perfectly curating what we see, having our feeds only affirm our narrow-minded, single-dimensional thoughts, opinions, and desires, only helps to confirm that the world really does revolve around us.

There is no doubt that probably most of us are deriving way too much of our self-worth by what’s on our phones. So this post might be more for YOU than it is for your kids. My hope is that you self-evaluate when you read this post. How much time are you spending on your phone? If you are like me then you are spending wayyyy too much time on it. Remember, you don’t need your phone. You are more loved, valued, affirmed, and accepted by Christ than you could ever dare imagine. Nothing else could give you what only Christ can give you. So put that phone down and trust me when I say that if you don’t check Facebook and Instagram 100 times tomorrow, your life will probably be better for it.

What It Means To Treasure God's Word (And Free Download)

"I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11 (ESV)

You may have heard this verse stated a little differently if you grew up in a church that used the King James Bible: "Thy word have I hid in mine heart that I might not sin against Thee."

The word for "hid" or "store" is actually "treasure" in the original Hebrew (the language by which the Old Testament was written).

What a powerfully profound thought! The Psalmist is actually casting a vision for the necessity of treasuring God's word SO much in our hearts, that it actually leads to less sin in our lives. I don't know about you but less sinning seems pretty cool!

Ask yourself this question: "What do I treasure the most?" In other words, what has captured my heart's affections more than anything else? What is it that has taken the supreme position in my heart? The answer to this question is found in whatever it is that we spend the bulk of our thoughts, energy, and resources on. If we truly self-assess, the answer to the above question is sobering.

The fact is there will always be something vying to be the treasure of our hearts. God desires for Himself to be our ultimate treasure because only He can truly satisfy us:

"For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." Psalm 107:9

One of the greatest ways we can know how all-satisfying God is (and for our kids to know this), is through treasuring His Word. King David talks about "meditating" on God's Word day and night so that he can be "like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." (Psalm 1:3).

So the question that we need to be asking at this point is "How do I treasure God's Word in my heart?"

Consider these three thoughts:

1. We need to actually read God's Word. I can't just assume that all of you are doing this. Read a past post in which I presented some helpful starter tips for how to read the Bible.
2. We need to get into a rhythm of reading God's Word. Many people give up on reading the Bible, mostly because they never gave it a chance. The Bible isn't easy reading. It's not like a Tom Clancy novel. It takes practice, focus, dedication, and discipline. To truly understand the Bible is to actually become a student of it (Of course you're going to need the Holy Spirit to do the heavy lifting of this in your own heart. See John 14:26).
3. We need to memorize God's Word. When Moses commanded Jewish parents in Deuteronomy 6 to teach their children all about God, and to do it at all times of the day, I have a feeling this is what he had in mind. Nothing plants Scripture more into our hearts and the hearts of our children than memorization.

Let me elaborate a bit more on number three. In our home, we make Scripture memorization a part of our weekly and monthly rhythms. This year, we are trying to memorize some 20 different verses or passages of Scripture in our home. My children are ages four, seven, and nine and they all participate. Some of the verses are more difficult but we work at it together, help each other, and keep each other accountable. Sometimes we make up silly songs to help us memorize the verses. But mostly, we just repetitively say the verses over and over again. The kids love the challenge and we are all being reminded daily of the promises of God from His Word - And guess what? We are treasuring Christ more.

Because Scripture memorization is so important, and hopefully I have helped you see the value, I want to invite you and your family into this. So I'm throwing out a challenge. Let's memorize Scripture together. Beginning this month, I am going to present a #verseofthemonth on the blog, accompanied by a free digital art print that you can print and display in your home (in your child's room or kitchen or family room - wherever you hang out a lot) as well as free wall papers for your tablet and phone. 

These monthly downloads will be sent at the beginning of each month via the Kid Theology newsletter. To sign up, click this sentence. 

Also, I would love to see some videos on instagram and facebook with your kids reciting their monthly memory verses with the hashtag #KTverseofthemonth. Who is with me? Don't forget to sign up for this month's verse and the free downloads that I will be sending out very SOON!!!

Why I Took My Daughter To See Disney's "Beauty And The Beast"

This past weekend, I did it. I took my four year old daughter (and my 7 and 9 year old sons) to see Disney's latest rendition of the Beauty And The Beast.

In case you've been MIA, the latest Disney picture has drawn the ire of many Christians around America, with a few influential Christian leaders (such as Franklin Graham) encouraging others to not just boycott the movie but to boycott Disney altogether.

The controversy surrounds what many are deeming to be the first "exclusively gay moment" in a Disney movie. Although all of the talk caused me to balk for a moment and do some research on the scene in question on my own, there was little doubt in the end I was going to take my daughter (and family) to see this movie. I did feel good however that I wasn't walking into the movie naively and I was prepared to answer whatever questions would come from our movie experience.

(Full disclosure: To be perfectly honest, the scene in question came and went and I hardly even noticed it. In my opinion, I didn't sense a "gay agenda." The character in question, "Lefou" doesn't have a husband or boyfriend, nor does he overtly say he is attracted to men - although there are hints to it. According to the director of the film, the character in question "is confused about what he wants...somebody who's just realizing that he has these feelings." Therefore, if there is a "gay moment" it is merely the point that gay people exist. Oh and by the way, my kids didn't pick up on it. I received a grand total of zero questions. The reason why is that nothing was out of the ordinary. My kids know gay people. We have gay neighbors and friends. We love them equally as much as we do our heterosexual neighbors and friends. Our family prays for Jesus to save all of our neighbors and friends, not just those who are gay, as if they were in a different category of "sinful" and "lost.")

Now I'm going to tell you why I took my daughter to see the movie.

1. I like Disney movies. They are (historically) wholesome, funny, witty, intelligent, well-written and well-crafted. Thematically, Disney movies are a one-trick-pony so there are usually no surprises. They tend to center around one key issue: the human struggle to be the best version of ourselves as we can be. This is noble but at the same time limited. Therefore it brings about so many gospel conversations because of all the potential gospel implications (thanks Disney for giving me a platform to talk to my kids about the gospel).
2. My daughter LOVES Disney movies (especially those with princesses, pretty dresses, and lots of singing). And as selfish and sinful as I am, I love giving good gifts to my children ("If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children..." Matthew 7:11).
3. To boycott a Disney movie for an "exclusively gay moment" would be a tad bit hypocritical, don't you think? If we boycott for a 5-second "gay moment," then we should boycott for Disney's past sexism (women have been often portrayed as weak, incapable, and overly feminine while men as macho, cocky, sort-of dumb, and overly masculine); or it's imbalanced views of body image (women are portrayed as super skinny while men as super muscular); or how social status (what people think of you) matters more than almost anything (see Cinderella); or how a physically unattractive person makes them untrustworthy (see almost every villain in old Disney movies) or vice versa (how a physically attractive person makes them trustworthy - appearances are everything); or how the racial stereotypes are too plenteous to count. I think you get the idea.
4. I desire for my daughter to know her culture. The goal isn't to shelter my daughter from the world around her (that is impossible...and foolish). Rather, the goal is to engage culture with her, teach her about culture, and apply the gospel to it so that she can be a part of redeeming it as a follower of Jesus. Contrary to what a lot of "conservative Christianity" thinks, there is something truly God-glorifying and imago Dei-ish about Disney movies. The themes of beauty, struggle, love, hard work, friendship, emotions, hope, and faith jump out of many a Disney movie. Yet, in so many ways Disney misses it, but don't we all? Disney forces us to consider the thought that things just aren't right in this world, that something has gone terribly wrong. For Christians, we understand this to be sin and that no amount of true love or prince charming or circumstantial change will ever fix it. This causes us to realize ultimately that humanity's only hope is Jesus; that He is the fairy-tale ending we all need in the end!
5. I desire for my daughter to tap into her imagination. One thing Disney does well is spark a child's imagination and creativity. It teaches children to go BIG with life - That it's great to dream big dreams, set big goals, and love and care in a big way. It teaches that nothing is impossible. We believe this as Christians. Now, where Disney gets it wrong is the source of doing the impossible (mankind rather than God).

Finding the Gospel in A Disney Movie

There is one final reason why I took my daughter to see Beauty and the Beast. Did you know that Disney movies (and many other forms of viewing entertainment) can be used as wonderful gospel teaching moments between you and your kids? Yep, that's right, you can find the gospel within Disney movies!

Let's take, for example, one specific line from Beauty and the Beast that I feel is THE climactic moment of the entire movie (SPOILER ALERT!!!). The Beast realizes that he has to let Belle go (out of his captivity - even though her affections are growing for him and there are hints at a future together). In the exchange before he allows her leave, the Beast asks Belle "Can you be happy?" alluding to whether or not she could be happy with him. Her response is profound: "Can anybody be happy if they aren't free?"

This is such a powerful moment. Even though Belle has taken a liking to the Beast and has found him to be endearing, she and the Beast both come to realize there could never be a true expression of love between two people when one of them feels as though they have been forced into the relationship.

So what are the gospel implications of Belle's statement? How can we find the truth of Jesus and His promise of redemption hidden within the words of a Disney princess? The truth is nobody can ever be "happy" unless they experience freedom, so we affirm Belle's statement.

But at the same time, happiness is fleeting (because it is circumstantial) so Belle gaining her independence again and the happiness that it brings is momentary. Even with the movie ending on that "happily-ever-after" note (the one where everybody has been "freed" and is singing and dancing), we know that the day will come when Belle is not "happy." Her prince charming will forget their anniversary or forget the milk from the store on his way home causing her to be unhappy.

Therefore, more than happiness is needed and more than being freed from physical imprisonment is needed (I have witnessed this from a neighbor of mine who spent 17 years in jail and was released recently and who is still searching for "happiness."). True happiness (or should we say joy - which is a position, not an emotion) comes only through freedom in Christ. Jesus said in John 8:32 that "anyone who practices sin is a slave to sin." This is the bad news. But then we read the words of the Apostle Paul in Galatians 5:1 and receive hope: "For freedom Christ has set us free." That, my friends is the good news. Apart from Christ and his sacrifice on the cross for our sins, dying the death I deserved to die, I am only defined by my sin and the consequences that come from it. Because of Christ's redemption, I am now defined by His love for me and therefore I am no longer a slave to sin!

THAT is how you find Jesus in a Disney movie.

I would love to get your feedback on this post. Was it helpful? What additional questions did it spark in your mind?

How To Redeem Bed Time

Found within the greatest parenting manual the world has ever known (Deuteronomy 6:1-9; and 6:20-21 in case you're asking) are these words:

"You shall teach the(se things) diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:7

Moses commands parents (who by the way are the primary disciple makers of their children) to teach their children about God, specifically about His love and His redemption. And when are they to teach their children? Four categories are given:

1. When you sit.
2. When you walk by the way (or drive by the way - I'll unpack this idea more in the future).
3. When you lie down.
4. When you rise.

For the sake of this post, let's talk briefly about the "when you lie down" category.

Parents, your children need to have a set bed time. One of the reasons for this is because structure is good for them (kids need boundaries because it reminds them that they are not the center of the universe). Another reason is that a set bed time will allow you to endure the hard days and keep your sanity, knowing that you will have some down time. Additionally, do you like being married? Do you want to stay married? If you want any semblance of a healthy marriage, you've got to put the kids down (at a decently early time) so that you can have some wifey and hubby time to reconnect, relax, watch a netflix show, pray and do other things that married couples do ;)

Parents, your children need to have a bed time routine. In our family (most nights), we try to eat dinner between 6 and 6:30 (which means the cooking of it should begin no later than 5:30). After dinner, we do clean up (all of our children participate in some way). After clean up, it's bath/shower/brushing teeth time. After that, the rooms are tidied. All of that happens in about 30-45 minutes. By 7:15, we settle down for a time of Bible reading, singing (sometimes) and prayer together. The lights are out most nights by 8pm. Now I realize that some nights are tougher than others because of ministry, school, and sports obligations (have you read our post about youth sports?), but if you are home, then you've got to have a routine.

Parents, your children need to have a constant reinforcement of Scripture. This point has already been established, but it can't be emphasized enough. What is the only hope for our children? Jesus. How do we know Jesus better? Through Scripture, the Bible - since well, the Bible is all about Jesus. So the more we give our kids the Bible, the more they have an opportunity to get Jesus. This needs to happen, like Moses said above, morning, noon, and night.

Now, what if you had something to help with the whole Scripture reinforcement every day? Something easy and effective? Something that you would literally only have to press "play" to make happen? There is a way! It comes in the form of nighttime lullabies. And it's found right here. I've always wanted someone to put Scripture to bed time music and then I discovered this. Seriously, you are going to love these songs. They make me cry every time I listen to them. I am a pastor and often I write sermons with these sweet lullabies in the background and (full disclosure), I weep like a baby while listening to them. 

And what's better than me liking the lullabies? My kids love them. They ask for them and fall asleep to them every.single.night. So go snag them right now.

Or, enter into the latest Kid Theology giveaway where we will be giving away a free copy of Volume 1 of the Scripture Lullabies (Winner will be announced on Friday).

All you need to do to enter is...

1. Snag the image below
2. Post the image to Instagram or Facebook
3. Tag Kid Theology so we know you posted (@kidtheology #kidtheology)
4. Tag four friends who have kids and could use some help :)
5.  Copy and paste this description: "Check out @Kid Theology (www.kidtheology.com), a resource that provides content to help equip parents who in turn disciple children to know and love Jesus."

From StoryBook Bible To The Real Bible: When?

A frequently asked question that I have received in recent months is this:

How do I know when to transition my kids from their children’s storybook Bible to the actual Bible?

This is a great question so I thought it would be helpful to provide a few insights from my own personal experience. Before we get started, can we all just collectively agree to the fact that most children’s storybook Bibles are annoyingly cheesy and shockingly inaccurate? I mean, they are well intentioned but...more than likely it wasn’t an apple that Adam and Eve ate in the garden, it wasn’t necessarily a whale that swallowed up Jonah, and Noah wasn’t the lone good guy on the face of the earth who deserved God’s rescue.

All jokes aside (sort of), there are some really bad children’s storybook Bibles out there and there are excellent choices (I’ll review some of the better picks in the near future). But this isn’t really the point of our current conversation (although it mustn’t be overlooked). At what age do I know when to transition my children from the picture Bible to the real thing?

Consider these 4 thoughts:

1. There needs to already be a familiarity. This is the most important tip. What I’m saying is that there doesn’t ever have to be talk of a transition because your kid should already be used to the actual Bible. Why? Because you are reading from it, to them (a lot!). Whether it’s before church on a Sunday (read through the passage that your pastor is preaching from), while you wait for your kids to finish dinner (you have all the time in the world, especially if you gave them vegetables), or advent season (reading through specific passages leading up to Christmas), there are so many opportunities to introduce your kids to the actual Bible. It should always be a part of your family routines and rhythms.

2. There doesn’t need to be a desire (from them). Listen, you can’t make your kids love reading the Bible. But you can be faithful and consistent in making Bible-reading the key centerpiece to your family activities so that your kids will think it is normal.

3. Reading comprehension is strongly encouraged (but not mandatory). As with most everything else in our kid’s lives, we tend to overthink the timing of when they should start something. When should we start feeding them with a bottle? When should we potty train? When should we graduate them to a big girl/boy bed? When should we start saving for college? And when will we know they are ready to read the actual Bible and understand it? Listen, the ability to read and comprehend fairly well is encouraged, but not mandatory. So please don’t gift them a ten-ton 1611 King James Version Bible the moment they can read Goodnight Moon all the way through. 

4. A good age to begin is likely around age 7 or 8, when they can read and comprehend well enough. This is typically when your kids are at an age you can begin to work through some of the trickier items in Scripture (you know, the ones about sex, murder, and genocide - we’ll cover the “how-to” on these in a later post:).

With all this in mind, please remember that your kid is pretty smart. She learns quickly. He is like a sponge. Don’t be afraid to give him or her the challenge of opening up the Bible to navigate through the wonder of God’s inspired and perfect words. Why? So that your kid can begin to experience what Hebrews 4:12 says: “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Daddy, I'm not a sinner.

My four year old little princess has been known to tell a fib or two in her day. Okay, actually she lies quite a bit; usually to manipulate a situation in order to ensure she gets what she really wants. It actually has become quite an issue. I’ve recently found myself having a hard time believing anything she says to me. Then, she came with this the other day during a conversation we were having about sin (and as straight faced as ever): “Hey dad, I’m not a sinner.” Of course I was not confused about whether this was true. I even asked her if she was sure and with an unwavering decisiveness she nodded her head and said “Yep!”

“Hey dad, I’m not a sinner.”

She had lied to me and two things were confirmed in that moment: 1. I am living with a compulsive liar; and 2. My daughter is a sinner (as proven by the lie). Now, being lied to by my children is pretty deflating. So I was discouraged at this moment, especially after I gave my daughter an opportunity to course correct and she didn’t take the bait.

I had two options at that point in the conversation: 1. Everything in me wanted to reprimand her by backing her into a corner to verbally let her know how bad of a mistake she made and there would be severe consequences; or 2. Casually work through this with her to hopefully help her realize that maybe she was seeing this the wrong way. By the grace of God, I chose option number two.

So we dove in. I said, “Can I ask you something, baby girl?” She replied with “Yes.” I then went through a series of questions using situations in which I remember she was in the wrong: “Adee, have you ever been mean to your best friend?” or “Have you ever not listened to your mom?” or “Have you ever hit your brother?” or “Have you ever disobeyed daddy?” She replied hesitantly but truthfully to all of the questions with “Yes.”

““Have you ever been mean to your best friend?” or “Have you ever not listened to your mom?” or “Have you ever hit your brother?” or “Have you ever disobeyed daddy?””

I proceeded to tell her that the way she acted in all of those situations was wrong. That in fact, she had sinned - and ultimately when we sin we go against what God desires for us and what He desires for us is more important than anything else. Then I said, “So Adee, did you sin?” She said, “Yes.” And then I said sadly, “Well, then that makes you a sinner. Are you a sinner Adee?” She replied with “Yes.”

Thankfully, the conversation wasn’t over there. As Adee came to the realization that she was a great sinner, it gave me the lead in to talk to her about a greater Savior that loves her more than she could ever understand; so much so, that He gave His life for her and instead of her. I told her there was nothing she could ever do to make God stop loving her and that Jesus went to the greatest lengths to prove His love for her. That made her smile. This was a win-win situation. Rather than the conversation ending in tears, it ended in truth and grace...and a smile!

“Rather than the conversation ending in tears, it ended in truth and grace...and a smile!”

So what is your typical response when you catch your child doing wrong? Do you respond with angry and irrational statements such as “How could you do this?” or “What were you thinking?” Do you resort to immediate disciplinary action? Do you verbally belittle your children? Do you yell and scream to get your point across. Do you use fear-mongering as your main strategy?

Consider these steps the next time your kid does something wrong:

1. Take a deep breath and maybe think about walking into another room (typically your first reaction is your worst reaction).

2. Instead of yelling and telling your kids what they did wrong, sit down with your kid (so as to not talk down to them) and ask them in a gentle voice what they think happened. Give them time to respond. Most of the time your kid will admit their mistake.

3. Instead of immediate disciplinary action, have a conversation with your kid about what they did and why it was wrong. Swift discipline is lazy parenting. I’ve realized that the grace-filled conversations surrounding my children’s wrongdoing does so much more in their little hearts than discipline.

4. If consequences are necessary (which at times they are), talk through "the why" with your kid. Tell them why they are having to sit in their room for a while, or why their favorite toy is being taken for a little while, or why they have to go to bed early.

Would love to discuss this further in the comments so please leave your feedback below.

What Makes God, God?

You Gotta Start Somewhere...

Listen, if you have children the topic of God is going to come up whether you want it to or not (Just ask this atheist parent who had to field the “God question”). For the purposes of this site, we're going to assume that you, the reader, are highly interested in discussing God with your children. But, at the same time, we're not going to assume that you know exactly where to begin. Allow us to assist you.

A great first place to start when speaking with your kids about God is to actually discuss what makes God, God. Why is God, God? What determines His God-ness? What is it about God that makes Him God, as opposed to something or someone else? These are questions that you need to be prepared to answer even if your kids don’t ask them. Why? Because if you can answer what makes God, God, the stage is set to discuss what He is like (His character and attributes: i.e. loving, gracious, merciful) and how He relates to us (relationally, as Creator and as Redeemer). 

Let’s keep this (somewhat) brief and (somewhat) simple. Remember, we need to start somewhere. What makes God, God? Below, you will see that we have outlined one of God's character traits, followed by a verse that affirms it, a quick explanation, and then a talking point for you to have with your kids.

The (Not-So) Exhaustive List

• God is self-defining (“I AM who I AM” Exodus 3:14). This means that unlike with most everything else, we don’t define or determine God. He has earned the right to do that. He even gets to name himself (Exodus 3:15).

Ask your children if they gave themselves their name or if their name was chosen for them.

• God is not a created being rather He is Creator (“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Isaiah 40:28; For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him." Colossians 1:16). This means that unlike everything else, God was not created, and He is THE creator of everything.

Ask your children if they can think of anything else in this world that was or is not created.

• God is infinite (“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.” Psalm 90:2). God has always existed! And He will never not exist.

Talk with your kids about (fictional) superheroes and how one of the their coolest traits is their immortality (i.e. Superman).

• God is not human (“God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Numbers 23:19). The Bible tells us that Jesus “became flesh” or “took on flesh” (John 1:14) which means in His eternal existence, He is not human.

Talk to your kids about what it means to be human? (i.e. what are the characteristics of humans? 5 senses, flesh, bone, blood, organs, thinking beings, passionate beings, worshipful beings).

• God is immortal (“We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.” Romans 6:9). Jesus died willingly, and then He rose from the dead - never to die again. Every single other living being will experience a physical death.

This discussion with your children can get real morbid, real quick so try focusing on how much cooler and better God is because He can’t die.

• God is unchanging (“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8). God is consistently consistent.

Talk to your children about how everything around them seems to change (i.e. they grow up, mom and dad grow old, the seasons change, grass grows, flowers fade, friends come and go - seemingly everything tends to change, except God!).

• God is sinless (“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Cor 5:21; "For it was indeed fitting that we should have such a high priest, holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens." Hebrews 7:26). God doesn’t ever do wrong. In fact, He is incapable of doing wrong.

Ask your children if they know anyone who doesn’t ever do anything wrong.

• God is all-powerful (“Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God.” Psalm 62:11). A God who can create something out of nothing and who can bring the dead to life is the very definition of all-powerful.

Ask your children to think of the most powerful person or thing in their lives and then ask them why that person or thing is powerful. Then discuss how there is no power greater than resurrection power. 

• God is all-knowing (“Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.” Psalm 147:5). God’s knowledge knows no bounds. It is limitless!

Talk to your children about something new they learned that day. Remind them that they will always be learners. Then discuss how God already knows everything.

• God is everywhere (“The eyes of the Lord are in every place, watching the evil and the good.” Proverbs 15:3). There isn’t anywhere in this world God’s presence hasn’t been nor is nor will be at every single moment.

Talk to your kids about what it would be like to be two places at once (i.e. sleeping in bed while at the same time in the kitchen sneaking ice cream).

• God is in charge (“Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.” Psalm 115:3). Only God possesses all authority (“And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Matthew 28:18).

Talk to your kids about the concept of authority. Who is in charge at home? At school? In Government? On the highway?

Now What?

There you have it. Are you overwhelmed? Our goal was to make talking about God obtainable and doable for you. By no means is the expectation for you to be an expert at all things pertaining to God before you speak with your kids about God. The purpose of this was to have something to get the conversation going with your kids (since many of us just aren't talking at all). My advice is to take one of these eleven topics and have eleven different conversations over the course of a couple weeks. Don’t try to do them all at once.

In the future I will probably revisit each one (along with the many others that I missed) to serve you in an even greater aspect. 

Which leads me to a question? What do you think is missing from this list? What makes God, God? What do you have a hard time grasping or communicating?