How To Vacation Well

Okay, I need to be honest with you. My dream family vacation isn't Disney World (or Land). I grew up an hour away from D-Land in SoCal and never drank the Kool-Aid. I have lived an hour away from D-World in Tampa these past 8 years and haven't gone one time. Not once! I know, I know... This is appalling and I need to immediately repent for my gross indiscretion towards my 3 kids by robbing them of experiencing the "happiest place on earth."

Or...

I can continue to not sweat (literally) braving the long lines, encountering creepy grown men in halloween costumes (still my daughter's greatest fear in life), or losing my entire life's savings on ONE DAY of sort-of fun. 

If Disney is how you and your family love to vacation, great (it just isn't our cup of tea)! But odds are, even if it is, you probably need some other options (because too much of a good thing makes it an awful thing, and I could see Disney easily falling into that category...I kid;).

After 10 years of vacationing trial and error, our family has learned a lot about what works and what doesn't so I thought I'd share a few thoughts to help you and your family as you continue to navigate how to vacation well. 

Allow me to keep it simple and straightforward through these 5 steps:

1. Figure out the purpose and overall aim behind the vacation. No need to overcomplicate this but ask the question "Why?" Is this vacation for rest, adventure, casual sight-seeing, crazy fast-paced fun, visiting family, etc...? It's hard to accomplish all of those things in one fail swoop so narrow the focus and lower the expectations. 
2. Understand that vacationing is an opportunity for normal life rhythms to be interrupted so that we can be reminded of God's glory. Breaking the cycle of normal rhythms and routines is always good (if even for a day or two). We can view vacationing as a way to Sabbath. The Sabbath Day wasn't necessarily about not working (although that was a bi-product). It was an opportunity to take a break from the norm in order to remember who is in charge of the universe and to behold God's glory and to be attentive to him.
3. Figure out what your family enjoys doing the most together. So many of us fall into the trap of doing what everyone around us is doing. We think that if the masses love Disney or cruises or theme parks, that our families will likewise love those things. What is life-giving to YOUR family? Road trips, the beach, the mountains, theme parks, stay-cations, resorts, etc...? Figure this out and you've won 99% of the battle.
4. Realize that vacationing well doesn't have to involve spending a ton of money. With current low gas prices, a road trip to a fun new destination (a few hours away from home) is a great option. Your family can find a great, cheap place to stay using sites like AirBNB. Typically there are a myriad of free things to do at any travel destination and you can use your family's normal monthly budget to pay for expenses on the trip (groceries, gas, eating out, entertainment etc.). Some of my family's greatest vacationing moments happened for example in the back yard of our Air BNB home over a game of Jenga, or in the car on a road trip, or on a porch swing in a cabin in the woods, or on a hike in the Rocky mountains, or over a game of corn hole on the beach. The best moments aren't necessarily the most expensive moments. They are the priceless moments that no money could ever buy.
5. Realize that vacationing isn't necessarily about your comfort, conveniences, and desires. Our default is to glamorize vacations and place them in a tidy box with a nifty bow on top. We view them as self-serving opportunities. Honestly, vacations aren't about us. Heck, they aren't even for us. They are ABOUT God's glory and FOR our families and the more we understand this, the more we will begin to get the most out of them (and God is so gracious to give us moments of rest, solace, and convenience because He's good like that).

So much more could be said from the practical side of things, but in order for us to serve you and your particular needs, we need your feedback. Would you mind commenting below about things that you've learned over the years, as well as any questions you might have at this point. We would love to serve you by helping you navigate through your questions, thoughts, and concerns on how to redeem vacationing. Thanks!

Summer: An Opportunity To Love Your Neighbor

There is something very striking about the thought that loving our neighbor is interwoven all throughout the Bible. Moses mentions it in Leviticus 19. Jesus called it the second greatest commandment after loving God. The Apostle Paul even connects three of the ten commandments to neighbor love in Romans 13:9:

"For the commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,' and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'” 

 

Here's a fact: God is almost just as much about us loving our neighbors as he is about us loving him.

This is massive!

In fact, at the very heart of the gospel is neighbor love. Jesus became humanity's neighbor by invading our world (uninvited - but after all, he did create it, so...), took on flesh, and then committed the most ultimate act of neighbor love on the cross. The way the world saw Jesus (their new neighbor) was the way we see the worst neighbor we've ever had (and we've all had some bad neighbors; okay, maybe we were the bad neighbors but I've digressed). We hated Jesus. His response? He loved us first before ever demanding we love him in return. Essentially, humanity was the worst neighbor ever. And Jesus, He was the ultimate neighbor!

 

So what are the implications of Jesus' neighbor-loving ways?

1. Jesus died for our inability to be good neighbors (holy, just, righteous, pure, perfect). That takes off all the pressure.

2. Jesus gave us a standard by which to live. Where our neighbor love tends to be extended towards those around us who are just like us, Jesus set a precedent for loving the unloveable, the marginalized, the outcasts - you know, all the people that make us feel super uncomfortable (which is everyone if you are an introvert like me:). Consider this quote by Tim Keller:

"We instinctively tend to limit for whom we exert ourselves. We do it for people like us, and for people whom we like. Jesus will have none of that. By depicting a Samaritan helping a Jew, Jesus could not have found a more forceful way to say that anyone at all in need - regardless of race, politics, class, and religion - is your neighbor. Not everyone is your brother or sister in faith, but everyone is your neighbor, and you must love your neighbor."

3. Jesus gave us His Holy Spirit to not only teach us about neighbor love (John 14:26) but also to empower us to obey Jesus' teaching (Acts 1:8), or what I like to call dominating Jesus' teaching (by his grace of course!).

 

The point is pretty clear: This whole neighbor loving thing is a big deal!

The New City Catechism (which I highly recommend) focuses on neighbor love from a heart level while presenting and teaching those tricky final six of THE Ten Commandments (see Exodus 20). By the way, this is such a refreshing approach to something that cultural Christianity for decades has flannel-graphed (if you were born in the 70's or 80's) us into believing that God is about better morals and behavior modification. 

Those tricky six commandments (honor mom and dad, don't kill, don't sleep with someone else's spouse, don't steal, don't lie, and don't want something that isn't yours) have so much more to do with your neighbor than they do you. As God has loved us, we in turn WILL love him AND love others...more than ourselves. It really is that simple.

That said, let me get to the real point of this post... 

Summer provides yet another grand opportunity for us to love our neighbors well. With all of the activity that we have going on this summer, one of the greatest gifts we can give to our kids especially is to provide them with opportunities that remind them this life isn't about them, but rather God's glory and other's good.

If Jesus has cornered the market on our hearts, and we truly believe he is the hope of the world, then we will take our families on a constant neighbor-loving adventure with the goal that those around us, in our spheres of life and influence will see, know, and experience his great love for them, through our love towards them.

With the help of my friend Kristin Postlethwait, here is a list of ideas for you to love your neighbors well this summer:

• Go on a prayer walk. Be out in the neighborhood and pray for your neighbors as you pass their houses. Pray for God to use your family to make Him famous in your neighborhood.
• Play outside as a family and invite neighborhood kids to join you—keep bottled waters on hand to offer them or maybe even some popsicles.
• Have a few neighbors over for dessert and games—invite them to bring some of their favorite games.
• Host a neighborhood potluck—this is fairly easy because you don’t even have to clean your house! Just set up tables outside and ask everyone to bring a dish to share. You can provide paper products and drinks.
• Host a driveway happy hour and tell people to "BYOB."
• Take meals to neighbors who are sick or have had a new baby, etc.
• Deliver cookies, muffins, or other baked goodies to new neighbors.
• Water plants, watch pets, get mail, and mow the lawn when neighbors go on vacation.
• Invite neighbors to do things you are interested in (organize a fishing derby, a 3-on-3 drive way basketball tournament, or a little girl's tea party).
• Organize a book club for the neighborhood kids that are your kid's age.
• Visit Shriner’s Hospital each month to do crafts with the kids at the outpatient center.
• Help with local a food pantry.
• Visit a nursing home.

Those are a few ideas! Would love to hear your ideas so please comment below.

10 Lessons Learned in 10 Years As A Parent

In honor of my 10th year parenting anniversary this past weekend (my first born son turned ten), I thought it would be good to write down 10 of the most significant lessons I’ve learned about fatherhood/parenting during the past 10 years.

1. The early years are the hardest.

• Now I don't know what it is like to raise teenagers (for those of you who have done so or are doing so, please enlighten me) but most of the feelings of despair, inadequacy, and failure as a father happened during the first 3 years of my child's life and really during the first six months. Something remarkable happened when all of my kids turned 4 - like the old had passed away and all things had become new. Hang in there parents of toddlers.

2. Discipline can and should be an opportunity for grace.

• The key to discipline is consistency, truth, and grace. There is no grander opportunity to teach your child about their depravity and the consequences of their depravity than during discipline. Most dads swing between the imbalance of being too harsh (I’ve been here many times) or too lenient (little to no boundaries). There is also (more importantly) no greater opportunity to point your child to Jesus than during discipline. Your child needs to to know when they are wrong. More importantly, they need to know who has taken their wrongs to the cross and paid for them all.

3. Lead out in repentance as often as you sin.

• This was a game-changer in our home. In my spiritual blindness early on in my marriage and my son’s life, I was under the impression that I always needed to be right. And if I made a mistake, it was someone else’s fault, or, there was some justification for it so I would minimize it. Nothing softens my son’s heart more than when I come to him and say “Daddy is sorry, Drew. Daddy needs Jesus just as much as you do. Daddy was wrong and he needs Jesus so that he can be forgiven and changed.” In my mind, nothing points my family to Jesus more in our home than when I own up to my sin and express my need for Jesus.

4. Don’t fit your child into the mold you think they need to fit into.

• The sayings "Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" and "Chip off the old block" are generally true in principle but not when it comes to specific application. Your child will be a lot like you in a lot of different ways, but maybe not in some of the ways that you desire for them to be. Your job isn't to raise carbon copies of yourself. Your job is to raise Jesus-loving arrows, sent out to the world to do damage for God's glory and the good of the world.

5. Tell your child every day that your greatest desire for them is to know and love Jesus.

• This is one statement I am happily wearing out with all of my children. I even ask them frequently what is dad's greatest desire for them. They exuberantly reply, "That we love Jesus, daddy!"

6. Pray with, for, and over your children every single day.

• I pray the same thing over my children. Every. Single. Night. And I've said it so often that when I get to that part in the prayer, my kids know it's coming and say it out loud with me. It's the best. The prayer goes something like this: "Jesus, as you continue to pursue these kids with your love and grace, may they in turn grow up to know you and love you with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength!"

7. Be their parent, not their best friend.

• I want so badly for Drew (my oldest) to be my best friend as he gets older. If I’m going to be honest, sometimes I parent him as a friend rather than a son. He needs a dad, not another friend (he has plenty of those). God gave me him to be his dad first and foremost. What I’m learning is that we are becoming better friends as a result of me being his dad first.

8. Parenting doesn't happen in a vacuum.

• In my pride early on as a parent, I didn't think I needed anyone's help. I thought I could figure everything out on my own. There is so much to be learned from those that have come before us, even our own parents. To think that parenting can happen outside of any outside influences is foolishness. Ask questions to those who have beaten the parenting path. They can offer you so much.

9. Your spouse comes before your child.

• I wish this was too obvious to have to state, but it isn't. In my own experiences, parenting tends to feel easier than marriage (even though it isn't). We have different expectations of our children than we do our spouses. We tend to dole out more grace to our children than we do our spouse. Please, please, please don't neglect your relationship with your spouse when the kids come because it will be easy to do.

10. Parenting is about Jesus more than it is me or my kid.

• This is the most important lesson I've learned hands down. With everything in my life, I tend to want to make it about me. The same goes for parenting. I distort this very good gift and instead view parenting as a way to play god, to feel validated, to receive love, to exercise authority, to have control, and to look successful. Heck, I even make my kids themselves my idol as if they can satisfy my deep longings for love and acceptance. The truth is that they are very terrible gods, almost as awful as I am. Within all of those unhealthy desires, there will always be breakdowns which means I need a greater desire. a greater goal: Jesus. And the more I make my parenting about Jesus and His glory, the more joy, peace, and security I experience in my parenting.

Dear Dad: A Letter Of Encouragement

Dear Dad,

Take a deep breath this morning. You probably need to. Because if you’re like me, you have so much responsibility – like being the provider and protector for your family. That alone will wake you up in a cold sweat at night. The very weight of such a burden, when thoroughly considered, has brought many a grown manly-man to his knees.

Let’s be honest for a moment, the thought of being in charge of little tiny irrational, immature, and impossible versions of you doesn’t really excite you, does it? I mean, you don’t jump out of bed each morning excited to (for the most part) go twelve losing rounds with crazier versions of you, do you? Or do you particularly enjoy being brought to your end weekly, with lots of little moments where you are inches away from angry outbursts and where voice raising is almost commonplace? Let me guess, you enjoy questioning your sanity on a daily basis, don’t you?

Let it be said from the mountaintops this morning that fatherhood is humbling. Fatherhood is hard. And fatherhood is downright harrowing at times. For this reason, we need to look elsewhere (other than ourselves) to find hope. If we are left on this Father’s Day looking at our personal achievements as dads (no matter how good we may even think we’re doing or have done), we will quickly be brought to our failure as fathers. Truly, we need our heavenly Father this morning to give us insight on fatherhood in order for us to see the beauty and the blessing that it is. This is what God says:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” Psalm 127:3-4

Dad, your children are first a foremost the Lord’s. They are His. You’re not even borrowing them. They are currently and eternally, His! So their souls will never hang in the balance of your success as a father. Hopefully that takes some pressure off. Secondly, they are a gift to you. They are a massive evidence of God’s grace and love in your lives. They are not to be viewed as a god or as a curse (both of these applications are equally tragic), but rather as one of the most incredible earthly gifts you have been given. And what are we supposed to do with the good gifts God gives us? We are to enjoy them!

Now, to enjoy them doesn’t mean to sit idly and hope they turn out okay. No, by the grace of God we will consistently and diligently labor over their development and discipleship. By the Spirit’s power, we will shoot out the greatest fruit of our most specific and intensive labor like arrows, wherever God will take them.

Dad, your children are a gift from God, they will be saved by God, matured by God, and sent out to this world to be used by God. And you, well you get to be a pretty integral piece in it all. You get to be the “warrior” that God chooses to shoot your little “arrows” straight to Jesus, the one whom they need more than anything else.

Please remember above all on this Father’s Day, dad, that you don’t need to do better and try harder. Nah. You only need to look to your Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus, who gives us more grace than we could ever dare imagine.

I love you dads! May you find great joy this Father’s Day because of Christ.

Summer Bucket List: Yes Or No?

If your family is anything like my family then you’ve probably come to the realization by now that not everything in life goes as planned. In fact, typically things never seem to go as anticipated no matter how good your best laid plans are.

So how is your summer going so far? Is it meeting expectations? Are you crushing all of the goals you set? Are you and the kids firing on all cylinders? Do you feel like you’re dominating? If the answer to those questions is “yes!” then let me be the first to congratulate you. 

If the answer is no, then click here to be reminded about what a family that flourishes looks like. Also, click here if you are still trying to figure out how to even get off the starting blocks.

You see, it’s rather rudimentary, but summer comes down to one thing for the Christian family: God’s glory! 

With this as your aim, all of the pressure is off and everything else can be viewed not as an end, but as a means to THE end (ahem, God’s glory!). You can now hold anything you do this summer in an open hand.

Subsequently, this open-handed mindset really sets you up to find freedom for example in having a summer bucket list. Now, I realize that bucket lists get sort of a bad wrap. They tend to make people feel enslaved and are potentially yet another thing in people’s lives to make them feel inadequate. And for those of us that aren’t naturally creative, attempting to make this happen is akin to potty training (okay, maybe not that bad!). 

But what if this summer, with your newfound vision that summer isn’t about you or your kids (see the linked posts above), you were able to come up with a bucket list in which you felt total freedom and in which you felt was totally doable - with tons of items you could incorporate into your daily rhythms as a family that are cost-effective and loads of fun? Would you be into that sort of thing?

Years ago, our family decided that at the beginning of each summer, we would come up with a list of fun things we wanted to accomplish as a family. This would only work if everyone gave their input (a family affair through and through) and if the ideas were cheap and not too labor intensive. 

We would come up with a list of ideas, write the best ones down on colored note cards, and pin them on a board in our kitchen. The planning sessions are always fun. And over the years we’ve learned to lower the expectations on the results, feeling great if we only get to 5 of the fifty ideas we have because hey, there’s grace for that!  

Making a good bucket list doesn't have to be too complicated:

1. Sit your family down and begin working through the things you love the most as a family.
2. Begin to come up with a list of your favorite pastimes, activities, experiences, or dreams.
3. Try to come up with ideas that involve serving others as well (family, neighbors, church family).
4. If you struggle to come up with ideas, there are tons of resources out there, like the one we’re going to provide you. (There are even resources that show you how to display your bucket lists if you are looking to get a bit more creative. Check this out!).
5. Remember to think super simple, super cheap, and super easy - surprisingly there are an infinite number of ideas!

As a quick reference, here are our summer bucket list items:

(caveat: This list will work well especially for children ages 4-11. We realize that the lists for children ages 0-2 or 12-17 will look completely different.).

1. Go on a hike
2. Go for a late night ice cream run
3. Have a pirate dinner
4. Go on a scavenger hunt
5. Make a lemonade stand
6. Go to the zoo
7. Play tag in the back yard
8. Have a water balloon fight
9. Go canoeing
10. Go to the beach
11. Learn how to ride a bike
12. Make s’mores
13. Build a fort
14. Make a tree swing
15. Go to the library
16. Go for frozen yogurt
17. Have a neighborhood cookout
18. Have dinner with close friends
19. Tie-dye shirts
20. Make banana splits
21. Kids fun/fitness bootcamp
22. Make chocolate covered frozen bananas
23. Go to a matinee movie
24. Have a sand castle building competition
25. Paint a mural on the driveway with sidewalk chalk
26. Go to a baseball game
27. Blow bubbles
28. Go to a late night movie
29. Have a tea party with scones
30. Go for a family bike ride
31. Have a family work day
32. Go for a neighborhood prayer walk
33. Make a shaving or whipped cream slip-n-slide
34. Do a family 5k
35. Go to a local splash park
36. Throw a neighborhood driveway 3-on-3 basketball tournament
37. Go swimming (a lot)
38. Build Legos (grab a handful and see what comes of it)
39. Play pie smash
40. Visit the local children’s hospital
41. Ride go-karts
42. Take a mini-road trip
43. Have a water gun fight
44. Throw a neighborhood pot luck
45. Have a driveway happy hour with neighbors
46. Watch fireworks
47. Make ice cream (yeah, we love ice cream)
48. Go bowling
49. Watch a sunset at the beach
50. Have a movie marathon

How Dads Can Redeem Summer

Growing up, summer was always my favorite time of the year, mostly because I didn’t have to go to school! But also, I knew that I was going to be spending more time with my dad. 

And now that I am a dad, I want to maximize these moments as much as I can with my children because these opportunities are fleeting and I really love any chance I get to spend a little extra time with my kids.

 

Here are a few thoughts for you dads who desire to care for your kids well this summer:

• Have a (loose) plan but have a plan. This would involve moments you have carved out of your schedule each week to spend with the kids. Before the beginning of each week, think through what these moments are going to look like. Here are a few ideas:

1. One morning a week, take your kids out for breakfast. Breakfast is cheap (i.e. donuts). Mom gets a break. And you get some quality time with the kiddos. Always a win-win!
2. One afternoon a week, try to get off work a bit early and take your kids to the park, pool, or beach. If neither are accessible, break out the hose and sprinkler.
3. Push bed time back a bit a couple nights out of the week and do something fun (game night, late night swim, dress-up, tea party, watching a movie, building Legos or playing with dolls).
4. Make sure you are doing the bed time routine every night (if you are able). Mom has  potentially been chasing the kids all day long. She will need a break and this will give you a great opportunity to spiritually invest in the kiddos with Bible story and prayer time. 

• Make sure whatever you do, you do it intentionally. Your plan doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it should be intentional. Otherwise you will not stick to it, or you will but not fully, and therefore not be engaged.

• Prepare to make extra sacrifices. Since summer brings about a new routine for the family, you may need to pick up the slack a little bit more in areas that you didn’t have to during the school year. The less you make these moments about you, the more your wife will feel loved and cared for.

• Look for opportunities to chop it up with your kids. My kids love to talk my ear off. Use these opportunities as teaching moments. I am convinced that I have become a better communicator because I’ve had to learn how to really explain things to my kids. If you can explain things to a 3 year old where they can understand what it is you’re explaining, you can explain anything to anyone.

• Bring your kids to work with you every once in a while (if your job permits this – Right now, I’m thinking of my buddy who works in a machine shop). Even though your kids may not particularly enjoy this the way you want them to (because it’s not part of their rhythm), they will always remember it. Sometimes I will bring all three of my kids into the office and they read or draw. It’s a way to continue to teach them that the world doesn’t revolve around them and it gives them a perspective for what their dad does on a daily basis.

The added bonus of this again is that mom gets a break 😉

• Find out what they really love doing and do a lot of that with them over the summer. On any given day, I can be found playing with baby dolls or stuffed animals, building Legos, engaging in Nerf gun wars, having a tea party, or having epic driveway basketball battles.

• Take More Breaks From the Work Rut Than Normal (if possible). Listen, you need to work. Because you need to provide for your family. But your kids will only be kids for so long. You will always be working, well into their adult years. Sadly, work is not going anywhere haha. But when possible, go into work a little late (early on another day to make it up) and come home early (and, again, stay late another day).

• Pray for the grace of Jesus to sustain you; to give you a love for your children (especially when they are unlovable), to grant you strength to be gracious, merciful, slow to anger, sensitive to their feelings, not harsh, present, life-giving, passionate, energized, and most of all, the greatest bridge in your children’s lives between them and Jesus. Pray for that. God will answer it.

Summer Rhythms: Doing The Daily Dance

Listen, for parents with children in school summertime is always a season of change. The normal yearly rhythm comes to a screeching halt and we are forced to embrace a new reality. Even if we’ve gone through it before, we always tend to feel caught off guard by it. 

Summertime can potentially be a good gift, but we are really good at turning good gifts into gods and whenever that happens, these good gifts end up becoming curses. What tends to happen is that we put so much extra pressure on ourselves to create a perfect summer experience, with perfect activities, and perfectly crafted and curated memories… in an imperfect and fallen world with imperfect children and you guessed it, imperfect parents!

Here’s the reminder that you need to hear again and again:

Summertime isn’t about you, it isn’t about your kids, and it certainly isn’t about having perfect days, perfect rhythms, nor perfect fun-filled activities.

Summer is about God and HIS glory.

But summer is also a good gift (given by God) from which we can benefit greatly; a break (for the most part) from the fast-paced American/Western rat race. It is a built-in 10-12 week sabbath for many families, meant to be received, enjoyed, and experienced. 

Yet we enslave ourselves to the keeping-up-with-the-Jones’ pressure to seize the day, fill it full of fun activity, get as much done as we can, and make it as non boring as we can for our kids so that they are always happy and so that we don’t have to feel an ounce of guilt.

But you could fill every moment of your summer days and still not make your kids one hundred percent happy. Why? Because fun and busy-ness will not ultimately satisfy your children. They will find a way to be unhappy. 

So please don’t succumb to the pressure. Instead, walk into this summer free from the burden of creating a perfect summer for your kids. Embrace the margin for rest, and come up with a loose plan that you hold with an open-hand, that is subject to change, and that incorporates some important elements that will help you enjoy summer as God intends - as a gift! Or don’t come up with a loose plan and watch God still be good!

Just In Case You Feel Like Having A Plan

If you do happen to come up with a loose plan for your daily summer rhythms, the following five elements tend to set you up well as you do the daily dance with your kids:

[A caveat: I realize that this is potentially only helpful for a segment of our readership - those families with one or both spouses at home. For the rest of you, these five elements can still be incorporated, just on a much smaller and different scale. If you have questions, please contact us and we will be glad to help you think through how to make this work in your context.]

1. Jesus Time
2. Fun Time
3. Learning Time
4. Rest Time
5. Exercise Time

• Jesus Time:
  • Spend a few minutes a day with your kids in the Bible (or a storybook Bible).
  • Ask these two questions: 1. What does this say about God? 2. What does this have to do with me?
  • Take your kids through a catechism. This is a great option.
  • Pray with and over your kids.
  • Ask your kids each day how God showed them that He loved them.
  • For older kids, give them a reading plan to work through. This is a great resource.
  • Memorize Scripture with your kids. Let Kid Theology help you out on this one.

• Fun Time:
  • Come up with a bucket list (a forthcoming resource is headed your way so please be patient).
  • Remember to give your kids the gift of boredom (encourage them to find ways to have fun).
  • Fun tends to be self-serving so teach your kids that they can have fun by serving their family (chores - Can I get an amen!?), neighbors, or church.
  • Fun family activities don’t usually have to involve spending a lot of money (i.e. Family fun Friday movie and homemade pizza night).

• Learning Time:
  • Just because your kids aren’t in school doesn’t mean you need to shut the learning down.
  • Even if your kids don’t particularly love learning (and there are tons of these types), there are age appropriate, semi-fun (haha), inexpensive workbooks for all ages to help better prepare them for the next school year. And, they are relatively plug and play so you won’t have to feel like a tutor.
  • You can also take advantage of summer reading lists, provided by schools and local libraries, or just create your own.

• Rest Time:
  • Summer provides a ton of margin for rest and hopefully you will feel the freedom to take advantage.
  • Even if your children are past the napping stage, have a quiet time in your house for an hour each day.
  • If your kids struggle with boundaries, remember that you are the parent, not them. Rest time can be a great teaching moment to help your kids understand the value of shutting it down.
  • You need rest (probably more than your kids) so please make this a priority.

• Exercise Time:
  • One of the best ways to relieve some of the tension of all that pent up energy is to give your kids the gift of exercise.
  • A walk, a jog, a bike ride, a scooter ride, or an in-home boot camp are a few ideas.
  • This app is amazing, providing various workout routines to be done at home where you set the time and difficulty boundaries. It also gives you visual instructions on how to do each exercise. My kids love this!

One More Reminder (Because We All Know We Need It)

Remember, you don’t have to have a plan at all in order for this summer to be the best summer. If your goal is Jesus and His glory, your summer will be a success no matter how you spend your days. This post was to just guide you in case you felt like putting some meat on the daily bones. 

We are praying for you, that you will aim for God’s glory, be freed from the pressure to make this summer perfect, and have the grace to receive this summer as a gift.

Have fun!

Summer Goals: Family Flourishing

There isn’t much else that strikes more fear into the hearts of moms and dads everywhere than summer being right around the corner and them not having a plan. Okay, not really, but all jokes aside summer IS in fact here and we at Kid Theology believe summer can be a wonderful gift to you and your children where tons of fun is had by all, proper rhythms of rest are implemented, and intentional discipleship is happening daily. 

This is all possible with a little thoughtfulness, a lot of love, a simple plan of action (that we are going to take care of for you), and daily reminders that summer isn’t about you but rather God’s glory and the good of your family. 

You need to have vision AND you need to give vision.

There is no doubt that parents need to have a vision for summer time just like we do for every other time of year. Vision is important and as the parent, you are the main vision setter for your family. In fact, vision is so important that the Bible says without it, “the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18). 

This statement is to be viewed through a metaphorical lens and when we evaluate it as such, we can say that when vision does happen, human flourishing happens; people come alive! When vision doesn’t happen, people struggle to find purpose and value and we tend to become lesser versions of who God intends for us to be.

Do we want our families to flourish this summer or do we want to squander yet another marvelous opportunity to redeem something that we otherwise receive as culture sometimes deems we receive it (as a lazy, boring, unexciting, run-of-the-mill summer)?

But what is our vision supposed to be? Better yet, WHO is our vision supposed to be? Well, it’s really quite simple. Step number one to flourishing this summer as a family is to make Jesus your vision. He is the bullseye. If you don’t accomplish one of the many fun things you want to accomplish this summer, but make Jesus your aim, you have been successful. But I happen to also know that if Jesus is your vision, your family will experience more joy than you could ever imagine, no matter what you end up doing this summer.

If Jesus is your vision, the implementation of that vision likewise becomes a little less complicated. If everything is viewed through this lens, then your family isn’t working towards a selfish aim but one that is God-glorifying.

When this happens, all the pressure to have a perfect summer is taken off. 

What if you walked into this summer with a simple plan of action that would do the work of taking the pressure off, freeing you up to truly do the things you desire to do with your kids, and enjoying so many moments of fun while at the same time taking advantage of the natural rhythms of rest? 

This is all possible and it won’t take much effort from you. In fact, with a little extra effort and intentionality on the top end, your summer could end up feeling more effortless than ever with some easy plug and play action steps. Remember, a plan is most helpful if it is held in an open hand. Many people are scared of plans because of the pressure they put themselves under to stick to them perfectly. So have a plan, but be flexible in understanding that your plan may need to change.

Since knowing where to begin is sometimes the hardest part, we have broken it down into 4 categories:

1. Daily Rhythms (Incorporating Jesus time, Fun time, Rest time, Learning time, and Exercise time)
2. Bucket List (A list of 25-50 fun things you can accomplish with your family over the summer)
3. Serving The Church, Neighborhood, And Community (Ways to keep the focus off of you and your family)
4. Redeeming Family Vacations (Taking advantage of those potentially difficult family vacations)

If you can get your mind wrapped around these four big categories heading into the summer, the potential for a fruitful, fun, and God-glorifying summer is within your reach.

Be on the lookout over the next couple weeks as we throw some helpful posts your way, unpacking these four categories more, as well as possibly providing some free resources to help you get the most out of your summer.

Dear Mom: A Letter For Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

Take in a big sigh of relief today. Relax for one moment (if only to simply read this). Now I am fully aware that you rarely get a moment to sigh, or relax, or even breathe for that matter (at least I'm sure it feels that way). But please just try for a minute...or two.

Even if you aren't able to take a moment to yourself, I am fully aware that because you are a mom, you will be able to read this while additionally changing a diaper, preparing a meal, running an errand (please don't read this while you're driving:), running a business, and lecturing one of your kids who has just broken one of your wedding plates (still to this day the most devastated I've ever seen my mom)...all at the same time. Yep, that's right! You can do all of these things at the same time because you are the epitome of multi-tasking. You do a phenomenal job at it!

In the hustle and bustle of being a mom, I can imagine (I can only imagine because I am not a mom, nor will I ever be a mom) that you feel a lot of pressure, all the time. I can objectively say that you have the hardest job on the planet. I say "objectively" because I have two difficult jobs as well (church planting pastor and dad). But to me, they pale on the comparison scale.

This pressure you feel has probably taken it's toll at various times over the course of the past year. I'm sure you have felt defeated, deflated, depressed, despair, downtrodden, downcast, disappointed and all of the other "d" words that have negative connotations. You've probably felt like a failure much more than you've felt like a success. Reason I know is because I live with a mom; the mother of my children - my wife. I see it in her face so often. She knows and wears that failure all too well. And it pains me to see. In fact, tears flow as I think and write in this moment.

This mommy failure manifests itself in so many dark and dreadful ways but mostly in feelings of disappointment: Disappointment that you aren't living up to the standard that you feel internally or see externally. Disappointment that you aren't doing a better job balancing everything else in your life. Disappointment that you aren't more on top of things. Disappointment that you can't go back in the past and do things differently. Disappointment that you let another year pass and didn't do the thing you said you would do. Disappointment that you lose your cool more than you keep it.

Disappointment is a massive burden to carry. It is rooted in a discontented and unsatisfied heart that questions the Sovereignty and goodness of a loving God. Disappointment is paralyzing!

 

I think we can all agree that you, mom, need some hope today.

Can I first tell you how your kids would describe you if they were remarkable orators and articulators?

"Her children rise up and call her blessed;" Proverbs 31:28a

Your children, in all of their whining and tantrum-ing and rebelling actually love you and actually see you as a blessing. This verse is better translated as this: "Her children affirm that she is a massive blessing to them!" You are a massive blessing to your children, whether or not they even see it. Why? Because God sees it AND He says it. He sees and says that there is a strong possibility your kids will affirm your awesomeness! And I'm sure you've witnessed this through so many hugs, kisses, I-love-you's, and tender moments.

But here's the truth. There will be days that you actually let your children down and they won't see you as a blessing, and they may even rise up and call you a disappointment.

What does this reveal? That you need more than your children's affirmation. Your children are sinners and aren't going to see you as the blessing you are, mom. They are going to miss it. When they do, this has the potential to feed into your disappointment and lead you into despair, believing all of the lies that you are already prone to believe about your motherhood. 

As you know, your children's feelings are fleeting. So is there affirmation of you. But God, He operates differently. If you are a follower of Jesus, a blood-bought saint, an adopted daughter, a sinner saved by grace, then God always rises up and calls you blessed!!! Consider these words:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places," Ephesians 1:3

EVERY. SINGLE. SPIRITUAL. BLESSING. IS yours! Because of Christ. Everything that you need is what you already have in Christ: forgiveness, adoption, grace, mercy, righteousness, love, and acceptance. Because of Christ, God only sees you as successful! You will never be marked by failure or disappointment by God because Christ took all of your failure and disappointment to the cross, on your behalf.

Today, more important than even your children rising up and calling you blessed, is for you to know that the God of the universe rises up and calls you blessed.

This is who you are, mom! Happy Mother's Day!

Understanding The Doctrine Of Justification

Imagine for a moment you are sitting in a courtroom as an observer. In front of you sits a person who is on trial for murder. Next to that person is the defense lawyer and the rest of the defense legal team. Across from them sits the prosecutor. The judge and jury are in their respective places.

This one-week trial is nearing an end. Both legal teams have given their closing statements. The case is as open-and-shut as there is. All of the evidence points to a conviction. The crime was even caught on camera. On top of that, the defendant confessed to the crime, hoping for a reduced sentence.

Then all of a sudden, as the jury has now come back from the deliberation room and are prepared to read the verdict to the courtroom, the judge stands up and walks out from behind his bench. He yells, “stop!” and swiftly heads over to where the defendant now stands, awaiting the verdict (in handcuffs). At this point every single person in the courtroom is in complete silence anticipating what is next.

The judge proceeds to tell the bailiff to take the handcuffs off of the accused and place them on him. He then says “I am taking the defendant’s place. No longer does the charge for murder apply to him. The charge will now be placed upon me. Jury, will you please read your verdict now, replacing the defendant’s name with my name? And please remain silent everyone, this is not a joke.”

Everyone in the courtroom is in shock. This can’t be happening. The jury obliges and reads the verdict:

“We the people of the jury find the defendant, GUILTY!”

The judge then sentences himself: “I hereby sentence myself to the death penalty for the crime of taking another person’s life. I take full responsibility and will bear the punishment that this crime deserves to bear.” He asks the bailiff to escort him out of the room and to the police car waiting to take him to prison where he will await his final punishment.

What about everyone else in the courtroom? They all go home, including the formerly accused.

Justification Defined In Not-So-Heady-Terms

This scenario gives us a picture of what the theological and biblical term justification is. Simply put, justification means to be pardoned from guilt. The original Greek word that we see in the New Testament is a legal term and would have been used in ancient Greek courtrooms (and is still used today).

The Apostle Paul says this to the church in Rome: “Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men.” Romans 5:18

The situation presented above is a tiny example of the much larger pardoning that Christians have received from God through Christ. We are all like the criminal awaiting the murder conviction. As sinners, we have rejected God and His law and fall very short of getting to Him (Romans 3:23). The results of this are a deserved death sentence (Romans 6:23). And there is absolutely no hope of changing this (Ephesians 2:12).

But Jesus, who is the judge (2 Tim 4:1), stepped off of His bench, came and stood in our place as the criminal (Phil 2:8), was delivered up to death for our sins (Rom 4:25), becoming the atonement (the substitution) for our sins (1 John 2:2), so that we could be forever pardoned from our guilt!

When we deserved to be condemned for our crimes, Christ died for us (Rom 5:8) and pardoned us so that we wouldn’t have to bear the punishment we deserved to bear. THAT, my friends, is justification.

Questions To Spark Further Thought

Now, I would like to call your attention to these 3 questions:

1. Do you understand the doctrine of justification better after having read this article?

2. Do you feel more equipped to talk to your kids about it?

3. What, if anything, could I do or have done to help you: A. Understand justification better, and B. Be able to communicate it more effectively to your kids?